Early Morning Ramblings 11 :: Goose pimples and Love Stories

Goose pimples and love stories; what connection do they have? In fact, I hate that shit! No matter how romantic a love story is, I never get soft or grow a single goose pimple! I'm tougher than that shit! But some movies tho. some movies get to me! Some creative-ass movies get me as soft as Nwoke ocha bread! I don't know how these things get to me o. I'm supposed to be a gangster! A tough motherfucker with the heart of a muslim! Shed no tears! Be a man, be strong! But how the fuck do movies make a nigga like me cry?? How the fuck? I've seen shits! I've passed through shits and tough times! My close friends who know a little of my history see me as a little Hitler with the heart of a Vampire! No soul! But somehow, just somehow, some movies still make me shed a tear! What that fuck? How do that happen? Movies like 'Gifted Hands' and 'Slum dog millionaire' shouldn't make a guy like me cry! I have stab wounds for christ sake! Real knife stab wounds! Still got the scars three different places on my body! I didn't cry when I got that, I didn't cry when I was beaten up by 9 hefty cult boys in my second year in Esut or when I was beaten up by 11 touts in the old polo park when I was trying to get my friend's stolen phone back. But somehow, this movie 'My name is Khan' got me dropping tears. I mean what the fuck? Even the movie 'Ray' the motion picture of ray charles' life. That movie got me shedding tears too! At the beginning of the movie when he started getting blind from Glaucoma or something as a kid due to the state of poverty his mom was in, when his mom was telling him he should prepare his mind that his eye problem was turning into blindness since she can't afford the medical treatment, telling him he has to be tough, that life is sometimes unfair and he shouldn't be weak or expect pity from people because of his condition.
She was gonna die soon due to the cancer she had and needed him to be strong enough to take care of himself by himself when she's gone! Another scene was where he was finally getting blind and was playing around in the house, after his mom had told him to toughen up and be strong and never depend on anybody no matter what. He was playing around and fell down, then started calling for the mom and crying, lying down on the floor, his mom was standing there looking at him pretending not to hear him knowing he can't see her, watching to see if he could survive alone when she's gone, after Ray called out for the mom's help for a while and nobody came, he wiped his tears and tried standing up by himself, his mom seeing the blind son's effort started crying, he now heard the mom crying in silence because his hearing ability increased since he couldn't see anymore, he now figured his mom was trying to toughen him up. Damn! That scene was fucking touching! If you haven't seen Ray, you should stop whatever you are doing right now, go to the market and get that movie! Most of you don't know Ray Charles, but he's a music legend! As blind as Stevie wonder, but was waaay before Stevie came along! He was the Original maker of the song "I got a woman" which Kanye west and Jamie Foxx adopted to the contemporary song "Gold digger", The move Ray was about him. Those scenes got me shedding tears and looking around to see if my younger brothers saw that shit, and I had to wipe the tears with style, I be like 'who kept this shirt here, abeg heat dey do me' using the shirt to wipe that shit off before my younger brothers that see me as a heartless monster, see me shed a tear! That would've been some fucked up sissy sight! But hell, that movie tho, a kid getting blind and shit... That's an innocent kid naa, I'm supposed to feel sad right? Come on! That doesn't make me a sissy, does it? Disabled kids softens my stone heart up strait up! I just wish I could give them the world, snap my fingers and change their world! Damn! I can't stand seeing a disabled kid or person, I feel so damn sad! At the other hand, I hate seeing able bodied beggars! I go Biggie smalls on em "I don't feel sorrow". Some of these motherfucker are even fatter than me! I mean how can you be a beggar and have a pot belly, asking money from me that have six packs I never worked out for! How? You are obviously living large with your pot belly! My friends that have pot belly call themselves "Belle na money", rich motherfuckers, if you know Kenny Bosko! Some of these beggars are pregnant and have kids! Which means, they fuck!!! They have sex! You are broke and you fuck?! Hell naaw!!! God knows I'm never horny when I'm broke! If you are horny, that means you have money! Do you know how much it costs to get a girl to spread her legs for you? I can't be broke and horny naa! Am I stupid? But these beggars know sexual pleasure more than me! How do you expect me to give you money when you fuck and I don't! Get the fuck outta here! Then now get kids to come and beg too, clutching your leg like you are their dad, you should see me shake em off my leg like roaches and tell them to come back when they have Kwashiokor! I don't feel sorrow! At least by then I'll know they are really suffering, not me giving them money to go and set a P. Hell no! I do that shit nothing! I rather give it to someone on a wheelchair or a blind person. I have to see a disability! Come on show me a disability! Disabilities makes me grow goose pimples. But that's reality, but a movie making me shed a tear? Naaah mayne! That's fucked up! Now this morning, I woke up happy, very happy, my life changed a bit this last few days, like seriously, I was even talking and laughing with my hated ex, the girl that broke my damn heart, I used to hate that girl like hell, stupid mistakes we make as kids, dating a girl that lives in the same fucking compound with you, and to make it worse due to the so called love you have for her, you agreed to date her without sex for 9 months overloading your fucking sperm bank for love. Fuck that shit!! I'm not trying that again! Even if God comes down to earth and tells me that's the only way I'm going to heaven, I'm not trying it again! Chaa chaa! and the relationship happens not to end well, now you are stuck with sadness because you have to see the face of the girl that broke your heart every fucking time, that's some fucked up shit and its more annoying when she seems to be in a happy relationship where she is now FUCKING the new guy. God! I used to hate her until lately, with the new changes in my life I see myself happy enough to forgive that past. That's how happy I've been lately! Very fucking happy! So happy I sleep with a grin on my face. Now I'm at home this early saturday morning and I'm watching this movie 'Freedom Writers' and bam! Shit starts getting me soft and sissy again! I'm like, No waaaay! Nooooo waaaay! This can't happen! movie giving me goose pimples and shit, next now is a grown ass man like me shedding tears for a movie again. Hell no! I quickly stopped the movie and turned on 'Project X' then moved it to the part when they were having the greatest party in the history of partying! Now I'm laughing, watching this party movie and planning how 19th July will be next year... *tongue out* LOL biko *in mercy Johnson's Voice* I took my leave! *grin*