Early Morning Ramblings 13 :: Lies of Unity

I just got into enugu this morning from Awka, was in Onitsha yesterday. Finally met with some of my FB friends I never met for years of friendship. Miss Lynn and Al Nmeri... Coming back, I had to drop at Awka to meet up with one of the Unizik Mass Communication dept lecturer, Miss Ngozi Emanuel. We are publishing an Anthology together, since I was around, it was simply right to drop my own part of the book with her. Anyway, today is election day in Anambra and as usual, No movement. To beat that law, I had to leave super early, all dressed in my cardigan looking like an Eskimo. LOL. You know its been long I rambled. Getting close to enugu, there was a terrible hold up, serious one o! I stayed bothering what the whole traffic jam was about... Only to come close and see some kinda Hollywood shit! Like seriously, y'all may not believe but this shit is true! Two fucking big tankers and a trailer carrying tomatoes had an accident on a fucking bridge!!! Three heavy vehicles!! Three!! On the same lane! Same damn lane! Shit was unbelievable. I don't know how to describe what I saw, but it was like one of those 'Final Destination' accident scenes. True! No lies. Two tankers lying on the ground and one head truck fallen off into the river under the bridge, and the trailer's back cut in half with the tomatoes it was carrying scattered all over the road. That sight was just plain impossible, if it was in a movie, that's like the scene you'll see and ending up laughing like "nekwa film trick". Well, that's not the point of this rambling... Shit is... As we tried navigating thru the traffic jam, skipping lines and all, I was in a Tracas bus, you know... The cheapest outta Awka. LOL With smoke coating my eye balls to Ray Charles', I was blasting my Pusha T and Kendrick Lamar's 'Nosetalgia'. My latest jam of the moment. Hehehe  Just as Lamar's verse started with the phrase "do wanna see a dead body?", a soldier appeared outta the blue with a long-ass Koboko whip, and started showing his strength on our over 60 years old driver. Mind you, this soldier was my age, and I'm just 25 o! Lashing his grandad's age! Peep it! I was mad as fuck! Super mad! That motherfucker was shouting at our driver with his hausa accent "I dey mahdt?","I dey crahze?" In my mind I was replying him "you obviously are", showing off your skinny biceps and triceps on an old man. If it was on a plain ground without uniforms, I woulda smash a bottle of beer into that guy's head like Mr. Bones Kuvuki land greetings. I was so pissed off. Mind you, that guy wasn't doing that shit because he was military and wanted to clear the road. Nah! That shit was tribe inflated. Soooo fucking tribal! Because a military Igbo, calabar, Tiv or even Yoruba man can't do that shit. Only the hausa can be that cruel on Igbos! Or anybody else for that matter! Yes!! I said it. Only the hausa. The hate is just fucking too much. They just fucking hate us! Despite how loving and accomodating we are to them and their bullshit!  And mind you, we don't treat em that way o! Suddenly I got home and on NTA was a song about how Nigeria is celebrating a Hundred years of Unity! I was like what the fuck??? What the fuck??? Which unity?? Where?? How??? We've never been united in this country!! Never!!! Have they suddenly forgotten the Biafran war and all the tribal and genocide attempts?? The Boko Haram terror and all.. The only day we are united is 1st October! Other days, we are steadily at war! Even to a point that yorubas started deporting igbos from Lagos! Imagine such unity! Fuck that crap!! We've lied to ourselves so much we are now living a lie!!! Mosques, churches, shrines, schools, homes, all lies!!! We are lied to everywhere. Islam isn't a violent religion?? Lies!!! Steal, they cut off your hand. Fornicate, they stone you to death!! How are they not lairs?? In churches, Ekankar power? Powerless power! Native doctor power? Powerless power!! How the fuck do people now get Odeshi if native doctors are powerless?? Pastors and Imams lying That if you  do this or do that, you'll go to heaven. When they are all afraid to die. If heaven was so much better than earth like they say, and when they die, they go to heaven, why are they afraid of death?? See how they sweat at gun point! They fucking love their lives! All lies!!!!! At homes, schools they teach us that being naked isn't African culture because girls now wear short gowns and stuff, suddenly being naked is not our culture. I wonder how covered we were before the colonial invasion. We were dressed in leaves and animal skin before white men brought clothes, I wonder how much animal skins covered. Our women walked around with their boobs dangling! And suddenly now being naked isn't our culture!!! All lies!!!! We lie to ourselves so much we are becoming stupid, acting like we are all good and shit! Its all hypocrisy! Few minutes, an Hausa small soldier wanted to flog an old Igbo man to death, only for me to get home and NTA is telling me we are celebrating 100 years of unity. Which fucking unity?? Telling me to write a 3000 words essay on Nigeria's unity and win the centenary writer award bla bla bla... Fuck em!! Here is my 3000 word essay! We aint at peace Mr. President! And tell these hausa soldiers to stop harassing us in our own land! We won't suffer Boko Haram in the North and have em intimidate us here in the East... One day, a soldier will loose his life over this nonsense, then y'all will know we are serious, on this note, *in Mercy Johnson's voice* I took my leave!