Early Morning Ramlings 3 :: Changed Times

The cold today is too damn much and wright can't sleep without the AC on, he had a little too much to drink last night so I have to figure a way to handle this cold and AC so here I am wrapped like sharwama under these sheets with cold feet, literally. Well, somehow music has a way of getting your mind off situations. Shamefully, I'm just discovering Frank Ocean few days back, heard his name a couple of times sometime ago anyway but never really heard his song until two days back when one of my girlfriend's energetic chykers sent her a voice note singing a song of course she sent it to me laughing at the frog voiced fellow trying to impress my lady with a song that touches the heart. You go fear effort naa... Things guys do just to set a P. Onye nwe anyi gana agba ha ume. As usual I paid attention to the lyrics and liked it, googled it and found out it was Frank Ocean's 'Thinking About You'. At least the John Doe has nice taste in music. Nice song I must confess, suddenly my new craze together with Jay-Z and Eminem's Renegade which I just re-discovered too pulled me through my half asleep half awake morning. I just couldn't sleep fine, but then I was hoping that after everybody wakes up, I'll kindly turn off the AC and have my beauty sleep, then it hit me. Oh shit! Today's sunday, and a nigga gats at least pretend to be holy. And that entails at least going to church. Damn! There goes my beauty sleep, o boy if I continue without my beauty sleep like this, ugliness will overwhelm me o! Plus this one I'm planing to join a gym, don't wanna have swollen muscles and an ugly face looking Like Gentle Jack.
Whatever happened to that guy anyway? He was Nigeria's Arnold Schwarzenegger when Teco Benson was the John Woo of Nollywood action movies in those days, good old days when playgrounds were our facebook and NTA was our E! Sesame Street, Cadbury Break fast every saturday morning on NTA and Tales by moonlight were kids delight, now see Kids discussing BBA you go fear! They'll even ask you "brother have you seen pokello's sex tape? I have it naa, I downloaded it sharp sharp when it was released, should I show you?" 10 years o! Sextape! Chimoooo! When I was 10 we call sex 'ihe aruru ala'. These days, kids of 11 years suffer emotional trauma, and when you ask them the cause they'll tell you their boyfriend broke up with them after a 5 year relationship. I'll be like "what? Did you start dating when you were on diapers?" See kids with Bold 5, on 2go talking about heartbreak. These kids barely even know where the heart is biologically. Abi them don dey teach reproduction for primary science? Where do they learn these things? JSS2 I still take my bath outside when the bathroom wasn't free, now see 7 years old girls wearing bra when their chest is flatter than Micheal Jackon's and taking baths outside isn't even an option for a 7 year old. I don't know if I'm the only one bothered by this development? I get a friend request on BBM a sweet girl looking all grown and when you ask her age you'll hear 13! Like seriously? What are you doing on BBM? Ara gi akabero di aka! Your breast isn't even strong enough to take a good squeeze. What are you doing here? I get inboxed on facebook by a girl all excited and shit, I go to check out her profile, date of birth 20th June 1998! Chimooooo! Why do bad things happen to good people? Why me Lord? Does she even know that apart from urinating her private part has other functions? Hmmm! Or do I look like Yerima? Mmadu araputa kwanu mmadu o! The rate kids grow up and get exposed these days shaa... And some looking big will now add years to their age and start mingling with older guys. Just one pregnancy scare, all truth will come out. Anyway, what's my own? I'm married. I don't even know why I'm bothered, Rambling again this early morning. My friends from Udi will tell you, 'Onye kwete kwa shi huweee ya! Mana emena mmadu force! Cold won't allow me sleep, and I have my two favourite songs of the moments banging in my headphones, leaving me with my early morning ramblings, oya go to church, your pastor's bank account is running low, he's feeding depends on your offerings! On this note, *in mercy johnson's voice* I took my leave *grin*